I can't believe this!

So...When I was around 16, I had this amazing crush on this guy who is a friend of my older sister. He is 12 years my senior but he doesn't look it and who cares, I'm 35 now, I could wear his ass out!!!!!!! But I digress...Even to this day when ever I see him I get a coochie hiccup(you know that throbbing you get when someone arouses you) and I can't control it. Well I recently found out that he is not interested in my species.....Yes world HE IS GAY!!!!! And though I don't knock the lifestyle. If that is your thing who am I to tell you what to do, but LORD NOT HIM!!!!!! Oh I am so disappointed, my fantasy is ruined. "Why are you mentioning this now?" you ask? Well let me tell you. He went with us to NY yesterday and even with all that I know, he still makes my coochie hiccup!!!! I am very upset by that b/c I no longer want to rock his world but my body keeps betraying me. What the HELL!!!